If you’re feeling like your anxiety is getting out of hand, you are not alone. An estimated 12.1% of adults in the U.S experience social anxiety disorder at some point in their lives. Most of us feel awkward in at least some social situations, especially when we’re going to be in the spotlight or meeting new people. It’s also very normal to feel shy, nervous, or uncomfortable in situations where we might be judged, like an interview, meeting your partner’s family, or starting a new job. Living with social anxiety disorder can mean that even the most casual social interactions leave you trembling, dizzy, and afraid of criticism or rejection. Social anxiety disorder is so challenging to the mental health profession because it is driven by the underlying emotions of shame, embarrassment, and humiliation that most sufferers do not seek help. If you feel that your social anxiety has taken over your life and disrupted your ability to handle social situations, check out these tips on how to overcome social anxiety disorder.
Write a list of situations that trigger social anxiety.
Once you’ve identified your triggers, write them down. Then, look at your list and arrange the triggers from least threatening to most threatening. At the bottom of the list might be making eye contact while speaking, in the middle may be asking a stranger for directions; the top of the list might be asking someone to a dinner date or singing karaoke. If you struggle to rank your fears, try assigning them numbers.
- Scary triggers
- Terrifying triggers
- Normal triggers
Make A Greater Effort To Become More Social
Challenge your social anxiety by seeking out new relationships and finding supportive social environments to join. Something as simple as saying “hello” to your co-workers or asking them what they did over the weekend can help you manage your social anxiety. As your efforts at alleviating your social anxiety become easier, make sure you continue to cultivate your new relationships. Some patients who struggle with social anxiety also take social skills class or volunteer with small groups of people.
Start small and build yourself up. If you have social anxiety around dating, start with signing up for an online dating site. If you have social anxiety around talking to people start with joining Toastmasters. Then work your way up. Remind yourself that you can do difficult things. Think about the last time you did something that was really hard. How did you do it? What helped? Pull from those resources to help you face your fears.”
Identify Your Triggers.
Whether you are an introvert or extrovert with social anxiety, identifying triggers can help you figure out when and where you might experience anxiety. Part of understanding how to get rid of social anxiety is learning which specific situations might cause you to experience severe stress.
One of the interesting and often frustrating things about social anxiety is that it doesn’t present the same way in every person. What might cause you anxiety may not bother someone else. By figuring out where you feel the most anxious, you can begin working on how to overcome your fears. Then, you can begin to feel more comfortable and confident in the social settings you once avoided.
Practice Relaxation Techniques
When you feel anxious, your body goes into “fight or flight” mode. This means that your heart rate increases, and your muscles become tense. By having a relaxation routine, you can help calm your body during times of anxiety. Try these relaxation techniques next time you are feeling anxious:
- Breathe deeply for five minutes, focus on inhaling and exhaling slowly
- Massage your temples or use a relaxation ball
- Stretch your body out
- Play calming music
- Sip on chamomile tea
- Meditate
Focus on others, not yourself.
When we're in a social situation that makes us nervous, many of us tend to get caught up in our anxious thoughts and feelings. You may be convinced that everyone is looking at you and judging you. Your focus is on your bodily sensations, hoping that by paying extra close attention you can better control them. But this excessive self-focus just makes you more aware of how nervous you're feeling, triggering even more anxiety! It also prevents you from fully concentrating on the conversations around you or the performance you're giving.
Switching from an internal to an external focus can go a long way toward reducing social anxiety. This is easier said than done, but you can't pay attention to two things at once. The more you concentrate on what's happening around you, the less you'll be affected by anxiety.
Role-Play
Role-playing is an excellent way for you to walk through scenarios you might fear, so you can feel prepared if they come up. Keep in mind…that’s a big “if.” You can role-play in therapy, or you might ask a friend or a family member you’re close with to help you. You can role-play about needing to go into a restaurant or store to order or buy something. Or maybe you have an intense fear of giving the wrong answer, so you could role-play what to do if and when that happens. Role-playing can be effective in a number of situation
Gradually introduce yourself to anxiety-inducing situations.
Situational exposure is Identify certain social situations you’re afraid of, and work your way up from easier to more difficult scenarios while practicing relaxation techniques so you can tolerate anxiety. “For example, if you have a fear of shopping malls, and you’ve been mostly avoiding shopping , start by going out with a friend one on one. Then work your way up to going shopping by yourself. Repeat as needed until you feel more comfortable before attempting to go to a shopping mall, restaurant, a bar or a party where there would be more people.
Congratulate Yourself.
Nobody else is going to look out for you the way you can look out for yourself. Gather knowledge about social anxiety disorder so that you can make better decisions. Ask for accommodations at work and school if you feel they will help you. Guide others toward better understanding of the struggles you face. Take time out at parties if you feel the need. Nobody else knows what it is like to be you.
You might not be a confident public speaker, but there are a lot of things in your life to be proud of. Recognize that you face more challenges than others and that you should feel good about the small accomplishments in your life. Some days you can even feel proud that you made it out of the house. Build on small achievements and you will feel better about yourself.
Adopt a healthier lifestyle.
The mind and body are linked, and how you treat your body can have a significant impact on the rest of your life, including your anxiety levels. Making small lifestyle changes can help to improve your self-confidence and your ability to cope with anxiety symptoms. Avoid or limit your caffeine intake by not drinking coffee or caffeinated drinks after a certain time. Energy drinks act as a stimulant and can increase anxiety symptoms. Make physical exercise a priority in your day and always try to be active at some point; even taking a brisk walk during your lunch hour is a great way to fit it in.
Find a Therapist.
Therapy can be a game changer when dealing with social anxiety, whether it’s talk therapy like online cognitive behavioral therapy or online exposure therapy. A therapist can help you understand that your social anxiety in college, work, or everyday life isn’t just about being shy or nervous.
Any type of anxiety can be difficult to work through on your own. Remember that social anxiety disorder is a mental health condition, and sometimes professional help is a necessary and very beneficial part of knowing how to overcome it. This can be especially true if your anxiety has become debilitating and is seriously interfering with your life.