You have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances. Under the influence of a toxic person, you might second guess yourself on an important decision. You might feel sad, uncomfortable and downright ashamed about your own progress and well-being. You might even take on some of the same toxic qualities you resent in others something that happens to the best of us because toxic people have a peculiar way of making you toxic yourself. If you know someone who’s difficult and causes a lot of conflict in your life, you may be dealing with a toxic person. These people can create lots of stress and unpleasantness for you and others, not to mention emotional or even physical pain.
Toxic people try to hold you back. They discourage you from pursuing your dreams. They also sabotage your success or wellbeing or both. Getting toxic people out of your life can be a process. The process isn’t always pleasant. Sometimes it’s downright difficult. Sometimes it’s heartbreaking. But, if you get yourself into the frame of mind that you want to be your own best friend, your own lover, your own caretaker and do the right thing like you would for your child, then you can do it because it’s the right thing to do for yourself. Here are a few tips to help you end an unhealthy relationships to allow your mental health to blossom:Let them know how you feel.
While you do not owe them an explanation, this is probably more for you. After all, you don’t want to keep your feelings bottled up. If you feel like severing the relationship, let them know calmly and do not sink to their level if they fight back. If it makes you feel more comfortable, you may want to do this in a public space.
Put some distance between you and them.
Moving past toxic relationships requires you to accept that toxic people will never change. You may want to completely put an end to the relationship. If so, you might just want to go with the pull-off the band-aid approach. This means cutting off all contact from them. It’s unfortunate, but sometimes you will need to cut someone out of your life. Make a clean break and move on with your life.
Unfortunately with family members cutting off all contact maybe harder to do. So try to put some space between you and them. You could unfollow them on social media. If they ask to spend time with you, let them know that you have other plans and you’ll have to do a rain check.
Set Boundaries.
Healthy boundaries are the limits you place around your time, emotions, body, and mental health to stay resilient, solid, and content with who you are. These empowering borders protect you from being used, drained, or manipulated by others.
Spend more time with positive people.
Instead of spending your time and energy on toxic individuals, spend more time with people who are positive and supportive. Most importantly, they should be people that you actually enjoy spending time with.
Forgive but don’t forget.
Forgiveness is about letting go and moving on with your life. It doesn’t mean that you approve of the behavior or forget how it has affected you in the past. It doesn’t mean that you are giving them another chance. I just mean that you are letting go and moving on with your life!!
Realize it’s not your job to save them.
Toxic people are great at showing up when they need something, particularly during crisis moments in their own lives. All of these are ploys for your time and attention. If things are truly dire for your friend, you can direct him to resources that specialize in his particular issues. Solving his problems is not only not your responsibility, it's likely beyond your capabilities.
Find your support system.
Removing a toxic person from your life is a difficult process that can make you feel numerous negative emotions. It is important to find a healthy support network that you can depend on to help you maneuver through this painful time. Surround yourself with people who bring you joy and lift you up. Reach out to friends and family who will be there to listen, validate, and help you move forward. Reaching out to a mental health professional who can help you through this new chapter is the healthiest decision you can make.