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What is Self-Love?

Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health. Self-love is about healing, helping, supporting, and empowering ourselves. It’s about examining what we believe about life and ourselves and then challenging those beliefs to see if they are truly beneficial to our health and happiness. Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything that you are. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional, and mental well-being first.

Real transformative self-love is ugly. It isn't scented candles and bubble baths or scenic walks. It is something that can only be achieved by a deep dive into the core of your being. Self-love involves showing up for yourself even when you feel unlovable, or shameful. It involves taking the steps to listen to yourself, and identify what caused you to not respect or identify your needs or boundaries. And, ultimately, it's deciding to commit to moving towards improving those feelings, while knowing that you're still learning and will continue to make mistakes. One of the most difficult parts of this is understanding that you don't have to like everything you do to extend compassion toward yourself.

The first step to self-love is forgiving yourself. We hold on to past hurts, grudges, and traumas and move through life carrying this emotional baggage until it becomes a part of us. Unresolved issues hold us back in more ways than we realize. It drags us backward from living our life to the fullest potential.

Forgiving yourself means taking responsibility for what happened, understanding that you can’t change the past, and focusing on the present. You will be surprised to see how much freer and lighter you feel once you decide to lie past issues to rest. Saying you love yourself and loving yourself are two very different things. Spa days, gym sessions, and waking up early are all important parts of self-care. But deep, transformative self-love comes from looking within you, being self-aware, and doing the work.

What does self-love look like?

  • The following are examples of what self-love can look like in action.
  • Saying positive things to yourself
  • Forgiving yourself when you mess up
  • Meeting your own needs
  • Not letting others take advantage of or abuse you
  • Prioritizing your health and wellbeing
  • Spending time around people who support you and build you up (and avoiding people who dont)
  • Asking for help
  • Letting go of grudges or anger that holds you back
  • Recognizing your strengths
  • Valuing your feelings
  • Making healthy choices most of the time
  • Living in accordance with your values
  • Pursuing your interests and goals
  • Challenging yourself
  • Holding yourself accountable
  • Giving yourself healthy treats
  • Accepting your imperfections
  • Setting realistic expectations
  • Noticing your progress and effort
It’s your choice to choose Self-love so often we give credit to others, and we notice others’ talents, I and beauty, but we are much harder on ourselves. It’s time to learn how to be gentle with yourself and show some appreciation. Do things that make you feel good. Think of feeling good physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Do what it takes to feel good in multiple ways; it may require exercise, meditation, dancing, and keeping a positive journal. Find a routine that feels good and stick to it. Self-love is at the core of your being. It's the truth of who you are. It's your essence. It exists in the core of your strongest emotions. Know that what you are is brilliant, priceless, and fabulous. That same essence shines in all of us. 



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